SAN FRANCISCO, October 2, 2013 -- The organizers of The 5M Medal for Marvelous Mutts and Miraculous Mongrels have unanimously decided to award this year's 5M Medal to Mr Adrian Neville of Tailwag, CA.
Adrian beat 6, 174 other miserable contestants with his melancholic countenance. "We looked hard," said Bernard Belly Rub, Vice-President of Belly Rub Inc., "but couldn't find a single contestant to rival Adrian's despondent mien.Apart from his medal, Adrian wins a lifetime supply of scary toothpaste to ensure that he remains maniacally mournful for many years to come.
"We are also proud to announce that Adrian has been selected to represent Belly Rub Inc. in all of our Dog Eggs commercials," Bernard added, wolfishly.
Aww, why so mournful Adrian? You have a loving home, plenty of walks and pats and food!
ReplyDeleteAww....you are cute even when you are sad.
ReplyDeleteYou know nothing of the days I endure being powdered with some vile white thing to stop my scratching. Nor does Mom and Big Bro tell you of how many times they move my bed about or deny me my right to sunbathe for fear of being overheated due to my black fur. I am most miserable. Since I feel so mournful all the time, I decided to enter the 5M competition. A dog may as well be rewarded for his misery.
ReplyDeleteWoe is me,
Adrian
Thank you for your kind words about my cuteness. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
ReplyDeleteWoe is me,
Adrian
Our cat Toffee won the World's Softest Cat designation in the Guinness Book of World Records a few years back. I tell this to every kid who pets him, much to their consternation, mostly because they're not sure whether to believe me or not.
ReplyDeleteWas this meant to make me feel better? Well, it hasn't! I am miffed at Toffee's success! (Mind that I do believe he could have won that award). Should I start preparing my miserable mug for the Guinness Book of World Records now? There is so much pressure to be the top dog, or err...top cat, in this dog eat cat, err...I mean dog eat dog, world. Enough to spiral a mournful mutt like me to even lower depths of misery. Please tell Toffee that I am sending a nip his way. He is a cat after all.
ReplyDeleteWoe is me,
Adrian